it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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