i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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