My friends, they love my intelligence
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
