You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
