I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
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