I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
