I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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