So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
