my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
