Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
