And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
