how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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