Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
