I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
