The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
