I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
its not stalking. its research.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
