If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
