this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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