I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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