i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
it's not cheating when I paid for it
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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