The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
