we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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