I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
