I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Randomize
