Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
