Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize