new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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