I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
