If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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