He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Randomize