we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I love you. Go after that dick
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