she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
