To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
