He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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