my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
