what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
