I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
