You're completely useless in the revolution.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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