dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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