just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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