Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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