I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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