He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
