my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize