I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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