what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Randomize
