I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize