Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
