I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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