you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
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