Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
