Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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