I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
