I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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