i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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