The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
