Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
