Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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