I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
