your parents love me but you hate me
So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Randomize
