The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
That was before I lit my hair on fire
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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