hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
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