he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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