I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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