He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
