my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
