that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
