You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
